Cars

Tenant: “Someone stole my rims last night.”

Me: “Rims? Oh, sorry.”

Tenant: “The management company is going to have to pay for them.”

Me: “I’m sorry but they wont.”

Tenant: “Yeah they will. It’s your responsibility.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no it’s not. Where was your car parked?”

Tenant: “On the street.”

Mentally slaps forehead.

It makes perfect sense to park your car outside of the property, because it’s not like we have a parking lot encircled by a rod iron fence with lovely barbed wire protruding from the top, or a security guard strolling through the parking lot with his thumbs resting in his belt loop, right next to his scary club and pepper spray. And it’s not like we have 24-hour surveillance, bright lights, heavy foot traffic or a large gate that only opens when a tenant pushes their magical remote control.

Yeah, outside, on the street, sandwiched between the RV and a homeless person is the perfect spot to park your car.

Side note-I didn’t realize that when your rims are stolen, so are your tires. I was mortified when I walked out and found a car up on blocks just outside the leasing office. 

All right. 

One more car story. 

Tenant: "I just went out to the parking lot and dude, someone stole my engine."

Me: "What? Your engine? How?"

Tenant: "Dude, I don't know how, but I thought this place had video cameras and security guards? And was supposed to be safe."

Me: "I can check the footage from the cameras, but I'm confused how someone can steal an entire engine. Was it just a few parts, or the whole thing?"

Tenant: "I don't know, it just wont start."

Me: "Wait? It didn't start and then you looked under the hood and found that your engine was gone, right?" 

(mentally pleading that he actually looked under the hood, just to restore my faith in the rising generation)

Tenant: "No, not yet. It just wont even start"

Basically, this conversation ended with me offering him some jumper cables. 

Duh.