For the Book

>> Thursday, December 4, 2014

"Another one for the book."
I used to say that all the time.
Like when this happened and this. 
Truth is though, I already wrote the book.
Took me two years to write the darn thing.
Writing out so many words is kinda hard.
And the publishing world is kinda tricky.
Rough stuff I tell ya.

The book is a comedy about an apartment manager, and I'll have more information for you soon.
Like after I have yet another kid.
Birthing has become a sort of a hobby of mine.
But methinks you'll like it, the book not the birthing part, so look for more information next year.
Anyways, moving on, here is "another one for the book."
Perhaps the sequel?

I had a tenant who was late on his rent every. single. month.
He would come to my office on rent day with puppy dog eyes, and a twenty-minute speech as to why he can not pay rent right now, but he was good for it.

He didn't work, but was in involved in a court case that he swore would result in a large payout for him.
He was suing a former employer or former girlfriend or former doctor...whoever it was, it was former.
And every month, he swore that this was the month that the judgment was going to finally go in his favor(despite many, many, many appeals on this case that he had lost some years back).

He always ended up paying his rent, just in small inqriments throughout the month.
It was annoying, but he was a long time resident, so it sort of became the normal.

Finally, I sat down with him and pointed out the fact that he could not afford his apartment, and that it may be time to look into other options.
We left the conversation with him agreeing that paying over a thousand dollars a month in rent, when you have zero income, was perhaps not the most finacially responsible decision.
He thanked me for me input, and said he now knew what he had to do.

Fast forward two days later.
This tenant is at my door all smiles and giggles with a check for the full amount owed.

Shocked, I took the check and asked him where he got the money.
Did he now have a job?
Did he win his court case against his former something?

He said that he had contacted a very nice man who was willing to loan him the money for rent.
All he had to do in return, was pay the nice man back double the amount loaned within thirty-days.

Lucky for this tenant, we ended up evicting him shortly after for non-payment.
I say lucky, because about three days after the new tenant moved into his old apartment, that "nice man" came back with a baseball bat, some of his friends, and took everything of value in order to pay back the debt.

Now, I clearly remember suggesting he look into moving to a less expensive apartment that, you know, he could afford.
I do not recall mentioning the words LOAN SHARK.


The Feud of Perm and Sprinkle

>> Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Once upon a time, there were two stores tucked away in a beautiful shopping center located in a desirable Southern California city.

One of the stores catered to those looking for a cold sugary treat.
The other store catered to those who were looking to enhance their appearance.

The owner of the cold sugary treat store went by the name Sprinkle(for the purpose of this blog only).

The owner of the enhancing beautification store went by Perm(see parethesis above)

Now Perm, who had resided in her store for quite some time, was not happy when Sprinkle moved in.
It annoyed her that Sprinkle's customers would stand and eat in front of her store, even if some of Sprinkle's customers were Perm's customers as well.
Sprinkle did not like Perm, because she would yell at his customers when they would eat in front of her store.

The poor shopping center manager, let's call her Patience, had the pleasure of recieving weekly, sometimes daily, complaints from Perm about Sprinkle, and from Sprinkle about Perm.

Not happy with Patience. Perm decided to take matters into her own hands.
She stopped paying the rent until Patience agreed to kick-out Sprinkle and his prosperous business that brought many new customers to the shopping center.
Which makes perfect sense, because if you want someone ELSE to get kicked-out, not paying YOUR rent is the fastest way to make that happen.

When Perm was served court papers, she realized that her approach, while genius, was not going to work in this situation.
So, naturally, she did what any sane person would do next.

She peed in Sprinkle's mailslot.

(apparently Perm needs to drink more water) 

How Perm accomplished this is a technicality that Patience doesn't want to know.



Apartment Websites, a Pixelated Palm Tree and a Sponsored Post

>> Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I once had an idea to create a website for the property I was managing. When I broached the subject of entering the 21st century, my boss gave me the green light and free creative range to create a website. I have a degree in Liberal Arts(like every third person in this country), so, you know, I was deeply qualified as a website designer. And you've seen my artistic abilities, right? 

So, I gave it go. I bought a website and got to work. I had dreams of tenants being able to pay rent online, virtual tours, perspective tenants filling out applications before they even set foot on the property, and perhaps some cool background music(I can be my own worst enemy at times). Well, way too many days, hours and headaches later...I had a page with a pixelated palm tree, two enlarged pics of of a studio apartment, contact info and a link to our ad on craiglist. 

Nothing says RENT HERE like this...

Accompanied by some Kenny G. 

It was awe inspiring I tell you. Don't bother googling the site, when my year of ownership was up, I happily declined to renew it. 

With that said, I am sure a lot of managers find themselves in the same boat. Which is why I'd like to introduce you to Jacquelyn Marie Trimper, an account manager at Rentbot, to share some insights into an apartment website. So, you know, perhaps you don't have to go with a pixelated palm tree--unless that's what screams Welcome Home to you. 

by Jacquelyn Marie Trimper

Apartment websites suck. There, I said it, and you know its true. The majority of apartment websites are about as high quality as your local Ma and Pa restaurant. You know, the ones that have a downloadable menu that wont actually download.

Yet, just about everyone shops for their next apartment online—94% of people in fact. In an industry where more leases and lower delinquencies are by definition what keep apartment owners and managers in business, why are managers displaying their property online in the suckiest of ways?

The biggest mistake

I should start by telling you that only a few short years ago, I was a property manager. Ive experienced first hand the mayhem that is property management: the never-ending complaints; the demands from corporate to get more leases while not spending any money; the slaving away your weekend to show units to prospects who are “just seeing whats out there.” Its a never-ending job with a lot of responsibilities and very few “thank-yous.”

I think one of the biggest mistakes that apartment managers make is not allowing the propertys website to help them with all of their responsibilities. Many apartment managers find themselves making up for what their websites lack and are even embarrassed to refer prospects and residents to their propertys site. Continue reading


I Ain't Payin My Rent

>> Thursday, October 30, 2014

This story comes from a friend.

She manages a 157 unit complex. For over a month they were getting hit hard by a graffiti artists.
Someone was tagging up the laundry rooms, all the a/c boxes, picnic tables etc.
The problem got so bad that her owner, who is also an attorney, wrote a letter to ALL tenants asking for their help in finding out who the culprit was.
He also threatened that any tenant caught defacing the property would be evicted, no exceptions.

The following day the manager found a note in her rent box that read...

"Dear (managers name spelled terribly wrong, but in this person's defense, she has a common name spelled with two silent letters in it),

I ain't paying no rent this month because you are a racist. Threatening to evict us cuz of our graffiti is *&^%$&-up and illegal. Just so you know it is gonna get a lot worse."

Then they signed it, with their first name, last name and apartment number.


Not sure how the eviction of someone defacing private property is racist.
I'm also wondering if this tenant knew he was writing a letter of confession.

Regardless, he was served the eviction papers that day.

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