Flying Cockroaches

>> Monday, April 21, 2014

"Thank you for calling_________apartments, this is Erin."

"Hey, yeah, it's ME in apartment $$, I just got home and my apartment is covered in cockroaches. They are flying everywhere. Can you send someone over?"

"Uh, flying?"

"Yeah, flying."

"All right, let me call the bug guy and get back to you."

I hung up the phone, took a minute to do a little yucky bug dance in my chair, and then took to the internet.
See, cockroach is like the F-WORD in apartment management.
Because if one apartment has the F-WORD, then all their neighbors do too.

I guess you could say it's like lice or herpes.

And these suckers NEVER die, just when you think they are comes another one with his sixteen cousins.

It's terrible. 

Now, in my years of management I was not aware that cockroaches could fly. I didn't think there was anything worse than seeing a giant cockroach crawling across the floor, but for one to be flying across the room? That takes the nastiness to a whole new vomit worthy level.

So, I took to the internet.

Turns out flying cockroaches are called Megaloblatta Longipennis.
After I read this, I had to stop for a moment and let out a long string of immature giggles over the fact that someone named a cockroach, longipennis.

I mean, really? 

I decided to go back to the apartment to see how bad of an infestation we were dealing with.
I knocked on the door, and the tenant answered and then granted me entrance.
And yuck, the apartment was really dirty.
I've seen worse, after all, I worked in property management.
But it could use a good cleaning, really really good cleaning.

She lead me to her kitchen where I came face to face with a swarm of fruit flies.

YES, freaking fruit flies.

Let us recap.

An itty bitty FRUIT FLY

A Longipennis cockroach

I informed her that if she were to discard the mushy brown bananas off her counter, and deposited them into the trash, then her "cockroaches" should also disappear.


Anonymous April 21, 2014 at 5:52 PM  

You are the funniest writer. I thoroughly enjoy reading every post. Thank you.

Anonymous April 22, 2014 at 12:07 PM  

Every single bug is a cockroach, every single one. In my ten years of managing I have never seen an actual cockroach.

Blog Design by April Showers