>> Monday, December 16, 2013

Thank you to everyone who participated. 

It was hard narrowing it down to only three. 
This really is an entertaining/disgusting business. 
Truly, never a dull moment, and I believe the following pictures will attest to just that. 

After you have read through the three finalist, please vote in the poll on the sidebar --->>>>>>>
And the finalists are.....


Submitted by Jennifer 

"We had a tenant moving out, and when she handed in her keys she said, “there's been a little leak in my bathroom ceiling”  went upstairs, went into the bathroom, stood in the tub and the following picture are the result of the ceiling caving in the bathrooms falling and the drain line still standing. . . ."


Submitted by Laura

"The guy in the apartment downstairs calls the cable company because his cable is out.  Turns out the huge hole in the wall was were the cable was housed and in addition to busting out all the windows, throwing his furniture into the trees from the 2nd story balcony, breaking the toilet in half and throwing a butcher knife in the wall, he had cut the cable lines.  So the cable guy reaches in the wall to pull out the lines and comes out with a pound of baloney."


Submitted by Mandy

"One week after my arrival at this property I received roach complaints from three residents in the same building.  Naturally, my antennae perked up and I realized that the whole building must need treatment.  Easy enough, let's add it to this week's schedule.  Pest control day arrived and I supplied my vendor with the keys for that building.  He was only gone for 20 minutes when he came back to my office and ran for the bathroom.  He was in there for what seemed like an eternity gagging, gurgling and heaving.  When he finally came out he told me he found the source of the problem...the apartment in the attached photos.  In case you couldn't tell by the pictures, the resident was a raging alcoholic.  In addition to the mountains of Budweiser boxes, the apartment was covered in urine and human feces, which provided ample nutrition to the millions of roaches co-habitating the unit.  The smell.  OH MY GOD THE SMELL!  Never in my 13 years as a property manager have I encountered anything like it. 
Next begins the process of getting the resident to clean up the apartment (yeah, right) under the looming threat of eviction.  Here's where it gets really good.  The resident was given 14 days to either clear that nastiness out or hire a crime scene clean up company to do it for him.  No, I will not pay for that.  In an attempt to buy more time the resident begin calling an ambulance to transport him to the hospital.  When I saw the medics entering the property I jumped on the golf cart to see where they were going.  Yes, it was the roach-man's apartment.  I watched as the paramedics refused to transport this man due to the roaches crawling all over his body and hiding under his clothes.  They were, quite literally, eating him alive.  WHAT?   Can that really happen?  Yes.  Yes it can. 
The next day the resident came to my office to try and buy more time.  He was freshly showered, clean shaven and appeared to be roach-free.  As he sat in the chair opposite my desk, begging for another 2 weeks to clean the apartment, he began urinating on himself.  And on my chair.  Which then spilled over onto the carpet.  He excused himself quickly and left the office.  Did that just happen?  I didn't hear from again for 3 days.  The fourth day was re-inspection day.  As my Leasing Manager and I opened the apartment door, the new little roach hatchlings began falling on our heads like rain.  Drop, drop, drop.  EFF THIS, I'm leaving!!  We shut the door and ran down the stairs screaming and batting our heads like we just had roaches raining on us.  Oh wait.  A couple of hours later the resident came back to my office wearing the same clothes he had worn to my office days ago.  And urinated in.  And they had not been washed.  Oh God, there's that smell again.  And oh, oh no, that was a roach crawling across his neck in my office!  No more.  Get out and get out now! 
We were forced to file the eviction and, thankfully, the resident vacated before we had to do the Writ of Possession.  What was left behind DID require a crime scene clean-up company to trash out.  The unit took the better part of a year to re-build and be deemed insect-free. I learned so much from this experience that I hope I will never have to use again in the future. "

(This story came with multiple pictures, which I'll have to share later, I narrowed it down to the one that showed all the baby roaches) 


Amy Kay December 16, 2013 at 8:59 AM  

Who knew apartment management was such a gross job?!

Courtney December 16, 2013 at 9:05 AM  

Baby roaches wins. Hands down.

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 9:18 AM  

The roaches win! EWWWWW!

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 9:22 AM  

The roaches are gross. But the bologna made me laugh! Who sticks bologna in the wall, or really who eats bologna? Blah! I feel like I need to go give my apartment manager a plate of cookies now.

Heather December 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM  

So gross, but I can't look away!

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 9:38 AM  

I am obsessed with this blog! I love the random string of Christmas lights in the boloney picture. Thank you for making me laugh and gag this morning.

Sean & Carly December 16, 2013 at 11:36 AM  

Baby Roaches FTW!

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 1:58 PM  


Tim December 16, 2013 at 2:16 PM  

Roaches win!

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 3:18 PM  

This is the craziest thing I have ever seen.

Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 3:21 PM  


Anonymous December 16, 2013 at 7:10 PM  

The roaches for sure wins. As for bologna i one had a resident put tuna in all the vents

Anonymous December 17, 2013 at 7:48 AM  

Baby roaches!

JenAndrewAva December 17, 2013 at 9:40 AM  

I loved the first picture but the roach story is so disgusting!

Meg December 19, 2013 at 2:01 PM  

Baby roaches. No one should have to experience that. My skin is still crawling and I read that several days ago!

Anonymous December 19, 2013 at 2:05 PM  

My co-worker just told me about this blog. I am mad she did because I have been reading through for the last hour. Don't tell my boss. These pictures are unreal and I love your writing. You are so funny.

Anonymous December 19, 2013 at 2:06 PM  


Marc Horber August 7, 2014 at 1:06 PM  

I manage in one of the worst neighborhoods in San Francisco. I see, hear, and smell more bad stuff than any person should. I thought i had it rough until i saw "baby roaches". You win!!!

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