The Love Expert

>> Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I had a very nice couple(mid fifties, early forties, late fifties...I suck at age assumption) arrive at my office all hearts and flowers and rainbows, because after three weeks of dating bliss, they were now ready to take the plunge, and move-in together.

Seemed kind of stupid to me.
But, I had a few vacancies, so who I was to judge?

They fell in love with an upstairs one bedroom overlooking the Electrical substation.
Because nothing screams romance like electrical currents.

They each filled out an application, paid the fee, and left hand-in-hand in pure elation over their new adventure.

I ran the credit and background check.
She had flawless credit.
No criminal background.
And a stable job.

He on the other hand, well, he was a different story.
Grand theft Auto(two counts)
One eviction
I wasn't aware credit scores could start with a 3.
Plus, his "employer" had never heard of him.

So what's an apartment manager to do?
I was thinking of this poor tenant. 

I called the woman, because the man didn't list a phone number on his application.
When she answered, I said that I was sorry but I could not approve them for the apartment.
She was baffled, and questioned as to why.
I said I would mail them their credit reports.

Instead, they arrived a few hours later.
They stood behind my desk, she looked puzzled, he looked guilty.
I handed over her four page credit report.
I then handed him his ten page credit report.

He folded it in half, and yet she continued to probe.
Finally, I told her to ask her boyfriend why they could not be approved, and I said it with an accusing undertone.
And then I asked them to please leave my office.

Was that the right thing to do?
Was it the right thing to do?

She was in complete confusion as they slowly left the building.
I then heard them screaming at each other, just outside the office, for the next hour.
She drove off, leaving him to walk to wherever he was staying, possible here. 

Two words, one apostrophe....


*Probably not the best post title. 
But I've been watching Frozen for almost 24-hours with a barfing child, so, it's about as creative as my mind can get at this point. 

Happy Tuesday! 

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