It's a Hate Hate Relationship.

My family contracted the plague.

Two solid weeks of fevers and fluids exploding from little bodies.

Is that TMI?

My apologies.

But we survived.

Kind of.

Well, my carpet may never be the same, but we appear to be over it.

Knock on wood.

Moving on.


All right, I wanted to talk about a marketing device that drives me bonkers.
Really, really, really bonkers.
Every apartment manager has used them.
You see them attached to FOR RENT or NOW LEASING signs everyday.
And at most four year old's birthday parties.
I understand their effectiveness.
But I personally HATE them...

BALLOONS.

And I will explain why.

The complex was tucked away, not easily visible from the main road. Which made for a quiet living experience(as far as car traffic goes) but hard to get foot traffic through the door.
So, I placed a large sign on the corner advertising our complex.
To really catch the drivers eye, I bought one of these....

And I attached a variety of colorful balloons to the sign. 

It worked wonderfully. 

Except, after a few days, my balloons were disappearing. 

Gone. 

Vanished!

Departed! 

Missing! 

Sorry...moving on. 

I would add a few more balloons, and within an hour, they would vanish as well. 

One day, while I was driving to the bank, I saw that the balloons that I had attached only moments earlier were, yet again, gone. 

I turned the corner and saw a man walking with a little girl. 

The little girl was happily skipping along holding my flippin balloons. 

I was tempted to pull over and take them back, only after chastising the man on his unlawful possession of the 25 cent arrangement of colorful latex. 

But, thankfully, I was able to mentally play out the scene in which a crazy lady storms out of her car, on a busy street, and rips balloons out of a little girl's hand, and then drives off. 

Probably not the best idea. 

So, I kept driving. 

The next day, I attached a Post-it to my balloons saying, "taking these balloons is STEALING!"

The balloons were gone moments later. 

So, I attached another Post-it to my balloons the following day, this time my scary declaration of thievery was translated in both English and Spanish. 

Why I thought this would be effective is beyond me. 

Surprise. 

Surprise. 

The balloons were gone. 

It was now becoming personal. 

I was only moments away from dragging a folding chair out to the corner and monitoring the balloons myself. 

Obserd?

Why yes, yes that is. 

Which is why I didn't do it. 

I made my maintenance man. 

Kidding. Kidding...kind of. 

Anyways, a girls got to know when she is beat. 

And after three weeks of balloon snatching, I decided to call it quits. 

Fine. 

No more balloons. 

It was a waste of money to put them up for only an hour before someone passing by decided that they would be a spineless butt-head and take my balloons. 

I am not bitter at all. 

The following week my boss arrives at the property for an inspection. 

He walks in. 

Takes a seat across from me. 

Takes out his notepad and says, "It would be a good idea to attach some balloons to the sign on the corner." 

At this point, I am nodding and smiling on the outside, while mentally slapping my forehead. 

Fifteen minutes prior to my next inspection, I attached a colorful arrangement of balloons to the sign. 

I wanted to complete all the items on my list, and of course, please my boss. 

He shows up, takes a seat, pulls out his notepad and says, "why aren't there any balloons on the sign?"

$%^&*&$@#$%^  %^&%  $%!

Woud you believe that not long after, I watched one of the tenants walking through the complex with his niece, who was holding the flippin balloons. 

I believed that warranted an eviction. 

However, I was alone on that belief. 

So, basically, long story short...I hate balloons.