Tent City

When you manage an apartment complex, especially one that borders the ghetto you more than likely have had a run in with the homeless.

Hey I am not one to judge.

If you want to be homeless that's your choice...is homeless the politically correct word??

Maybe the devotee to outdoor living?

Anyways.

We had a group of vagabond people move in to the Edison field located right next to us.

The group consisted of

2 adult men

1 person(could never tell the exact gender and I mean that in a totally politically correct way)

not really sure why I feel the need to be so pr today?

1 woman

4 dogs

PLUS they had two tents

A BBQ pit

Some mattresses

A bike

And like 6 Target carts you know the ones that have the "sensors" that apparently go off when you cross that big yellow line?

Anyways

They really were making themselves right at home.

Now I realize that these could be ex-convicts

Or they could be wanted fellons

Or maybe they were the jurors from the Casey Anthony trial trying to find refuge

Or maybe they are NBA players since they are out of work right now and clearly don't make enough money

Or maybe it's the Lohan family

Or maybe they are just homeless...I mean Permanent Address Impaired

I found them rather annoying but every single call I made to the police resulted in nothing.

The police would come find their little city they had created but apparently no one was home so they did nothing.

Then my boss came upon the little city the Domicile Challenged family had created and became obsessed with the removal of them all their dogs and their carts.

So I called the police...again.

Nada

I call Edison and I am transfered to about 100 different people until I finally leave a voicemail for someone named Robert.

Robert calls me and asks if I was wanting to book the lot for a movie production.

??

People really film movies on Edison lots?

News to me.

I tell him that I would like to make a movie about Tent City popping up in their field.

He didn't think I was funny, but said he would work on it.

About four days later a chain was put up between two poles.

WOW

Thank you Edison.

I am sure once all of The Residentless see that big scary chain they wont just walk over it, around it, or under it they will simply turn around and find another Edison field to reside in.

Because it's not like there is a 4 foot gap between the pole and the fence.

Seriously?

As suspected by anyone with half a brain the chain did nothing and even more tents and more houseless people moved in.

Now the thing about me is when I am on a mission I am simply obsessed.

So I called the police...again.

Nada.

Again

Nada

I called so much that the operator and I were on first name basis.

No joke.

Her name is Veronica.

So one day the police were visiting our property for a whole different reason and post and I told the officer about tent city.

He said he patrolled the area often and had not seen it.

I was baffled.

I asked if he had ever drivin onto the Edison lot

He said no because there is a chain up.

Seriously!?

So he walks over to the field and I do a little victory dance.

Because you have to realize that my boss comes down once a week and asks me why they are still there

EVERY

SINGLE

TIME

The police officer comes over after about 10 minutes and explains that there was just one woman there and he asked her to leave.

BUT

She said she couldn't leave because she was too overweight.

So the officer informed me that her family should be "home" soon and she would leave.

That's it!?

So the officer leaves and I kid you not that same overweight woman came out of the Edison field riding her bike.

As it turns out the whole crew did move their camp.

Yep moved it further back into the Edison field so they weren't so visible.

Whatever, I gave up.

Fast forward three months later and I get some dude from the city health department saying that they found a tremendous amount of feces and urine in the reservoir that runs behind the complex.

(yes the property is next door to an Edison field and infront of a reservoir but I promise it's nice)

The guy was all upset as if I was going back there to take a crap during my down time.

I explained the....okay I can't think of anymore names so let's just call them homeless.

I explained the homeless people who reside in the field.

This dude was pissed and asked me if I had ever called the police.

slap head...ugh

So he called the police.

Then I gave him Roberts aka Mr. Hollywood to see if he can maybe put like a sign that says

" Pretty please don't live here" because that would be about as productive as his chain.

Long story short....they are still there.

PS-Don't drink the water.