The Hormonal AWOL Thief

>> Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I was walking the property with my boss, and we spotted a pair of  pants wrapped around boots. 
It looked like this

But it was army pants and brown boots.
Have a visual?
Moving on. 

The pants and boots were tucked behind a car in the carport. 
We have a strict policy that you can't leave anything in your carport, that is what the above storage is for. 

I knew the owner of that carport pretty well, as a matter of fact, they were personal friends of mine. 
I didn't think the boots belonged to them.
If I were alone, I would have left them and gave my friend a call. 
But, since my boss was with me, he did as he usually does with random items left around the property, and picked them up and strolled over to the dumpster. 

He tossed them in and, for one reason or another, I decided to look in--you know, just to make sure they arrived safely. 
What I saw was a newly emptied dumpster scattered with a large collection of wallets. 
In the center of the wallets was a backpack. 
I reached in and grabbed a few of the wallets and they were all empty. 

The scene proved to be a bit too fishy, and I called the police. 
An officer showed up an hour later. 
She pulled her cruiser right up to the dumpster, strapped on some blue latex gloves, and used the hood to climb down into the dumpster and remove the items. 

There were roughly 40 or so wallets. 
All were empty. 
She then opened the backpack. 
Inside the backpack was a thick stack of Drivers Licenses. 
A sweatshirt. 
A knife. 
And a pair of gloves. 
It left me with an oh so warm and fuzzy feeling. 

Then, the officer reached into the front pocket and pulled out.....a pregnancy test. 
Yep, a pregnancy test. 
And the best part, it was positive. 

You just can't make this stuff up. 

The officer and I stared at the test, and I said, "Well, that should narrow it down, right?"
The officer just shrugged and put all the items back into the backpack. 
I asked her what happened next, and if she would tell me who the backpack belonged too(especially if it was one of my tenants).
 I was quite curious. 
I never heard from her again. 

However, when this tenant strolled out of her apartment a month later with a swollen stomach, I was able to put two and two together. 
Especially since the dumpster was directly across from her apartment. 
It's comforting to know that she's breeding. 

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