It's never to early to start your Christmas wrapping

I had a nice young woman come in...let's call her Jolene... with a little baby saying she was looking to finally move out of her parents house and wanted to rent an apartment. She went on to say how she was going to school and working and her dad who was a fireman captain would co-sign with her. Her entire song and dance was so nice and convincing. She filled out an application along with her father and everything looked okay.

She moved in and immediately I started getting complaints.

We started having car break ins every night.

Her apartment was D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G!

She was constantly lying.

As it turned out she was using a false SS number and Id.

She had been arrested several times.

Evicted on several occasions.

On probation.

And on and on...

We served her evicted papers.

She asked for a jury trial.

Which takes a few more months.

She obviously knew how to work the system.

We were losing tenants.

So my boss paid her off to leave.

...long frustrated sigh....

So she finally left!

I thought my life was finally back to normal.

Several weeks after she had left I was sitting on my computer in my office.

My daughter was taking a nap.

I had just found out the night before I was pregnant.

Life was good...

I then notice this ragged car pull up.

This man comes out with no shirt on crazy tatoos(one in which was a swastika) buzzed head and honestly made me pee my pants just a little.

I just sit in my chair(like an idiot) and watch as he storms through the office and to the mailboxes. He opens the mailbox takes out some mail and storms back to the back of the property. I go outside really quickly to see which number he was getting mail out of and it was in fact Jolene's old apartment

The crazy shirtless tattooed man was heading straight for her old apartment.

I knew we had changed the locks so I wasn't really worried.

I watch from my window in my locked house, as the guy is trying to open the door, then tries to go through the window. I am thinking "ha ha you can't get in."

Then I see this crazy scary man turn around ticked off and storming towards the office.

"CRAP!"

Not knowing what to do I decide to call 9-1-1(My husband thinks this is a hobby of mine) but I didn't want to come face to face with this guy. As I am on the phone my boss calls so I have 911 on one phone and my boss on the other.

The crazy shirtless tattooed guy comes into the office and I hear him slam the door. He then proceeds to ring the bell again and again and again. I am sort of pissing my pants right now(excuse the language) and run back to my daughters room. I then hear him beating on my door. Which means he has climbed over the counter and is now beating on what he knows is my door.

DOUBLE CRAP!!!

The 911 operator tells me to go into my bathroom and lock the door.

So I grab my daughter and my husbands shot gun that I had no idea how to use and was not even loaded and go into our bathroom and lock the door. I hear the guy pounding on the door and screaming something and I am desperately pleading with the 911 operator to get the police here RIGHT NOW as my daughter dances around in the bathtub.

Finally he assures me that they are in fact here and they have the guy and that I could vacate the bathroom.

As I vacate my bathroom(which honestly how safe was I really in my bathroom) I hear the officer knocking on my door. He then begins to tell me that this man used to live here and was just picking up some things. I assured him that I have never seen this man before and that the apartment is now vacant. As I am talking to the police officer his little walkie talkie goes off and he asks me to step back inside and lock my door!

As it turns out this man is a WANTED FELON!!!

Of course he is.

He was arrested on the spot and taken away.

Now as scary and crazy as that sounds the only reason I told you that back story is so I could tell you this...

After this whole incident I was packing my bags because I decided that I wanted to go to my mom's house for the weekend when the phone rang. It was Jolene and she informed me that the scary man I met earlier was in fact her boyfriend.

Shocker

She didn't know what had happened or what the problem was.

She then informed me that the reason he went by is because she had and I quote

"LEFT SOME CHRISTMAS WRAPPING PAPER IN HER STORAGE UNIT"
Really???

Seriously???

So I had some crazy tattooed wanted felon banging on my door screaming at me because his girlfriend wanted her wrapping paper??

In September?

Honestly???

For some reason I am just not buying it.

Unless I am just not that hip on the crack lingo