in-habitual

It's always fun finding a note inside the rent collection envelop instead of a check. And by fun I mean annoying as crap.

And I find crap to be very very annoying, both figuratively and literally. 

Sometime ago, a young couple gave me a note instead of a check. 

They said they could not pay their rent because their apartment was, and I quote

"In-Habitual"

I read the note over several times, realizing the word they were probably looking for was inhabitable. 

Which means suitable for living. 

Then realizing that having a livable apartment was not a logical reason to refrain from paying rent(not that many situations in property management fall into the logical category.) 

I concluded they meant UNINHABITABLE. 

Unless they found their apartment non-commitable or temporary?

Confused, I called. 

Turns out they felt their apartment was not suitable for living, and it was making them all very very very very sick. 

I asked if I could go take a look.

They agreed. 

Turns out they were right. 

The apartment was very very very very bad, and I too felt sick after entering. 

Each window was boarded up, and they had placed a black trash bag over their A/C unit. There were fast food wrappers crumbled and scattered across the floor, and I even stepped on a crusty hamburger patty upon entering, and it crunched under my shoe. Gag. 

In general the apartment smelled like sweaty feet after they had been soaked in cat urine for at least four years(not that I personally have smelled such a thing, that is merely a SAFE assumption). 

The place was dusty and muggy and gross. 

I explained that they might find their apartment to be more livable if they, gee, I don't know, cleaned it.

Their expressions told me they were not computing this cleaning concept. And the best part was that they kept going on and on about how in-habitual it was. 

I corrected them several times, but they kept shooting this look of pity my way, as if they were sorry for my uneducated bran. So much so, that I began questioning if I was the one using the word wrong. 

When I asked why they boarded up all the windows and put a trash bag over their A/C unit, they explained it was because their neighbors smoked, and the smell was causing asthma. 

That seems almost logical, except for the fact they now had mold in their apartment because of the lack of ventilation. 

They came in two days later with a note from a Physician assistant, stating that their apartment was making them sick and the property management company needed to take the correct steps to rectify the situation. Such as replacing all windows, door jams, *scarping the ceiling and kicking out their neighbor. 

You know, things we needed to do in order to turn their apartment from the current in-habitual state to a more un-habitual state. 

Ps-The dude offered his tutoring services to me, and my family, at a 25% discount if we wanted them. 

PPS-I am being serious. 

*what is scarping?