Where do I sign up for the reality show?

I was going through and organizing my old posts when I ran across this one.
I posted it back in 2010.
This is a REAL incident report I found while cleaning out my office.

The previous manager was an older woman, very old actually, and I can just picture her typing this out so matter-of-factly. If it were me, I wouldn't have been able to help myself, I would have added in some satire. But, I love it just as she wrote it.


Here you go........

I was cleaning out my desk and I found this incident report.
I wanted to scan it, but it isn't coming in clear.
PLUS, not sure if I could get in trouble for that.
So, instead, I will have to retype it word for word.

For name safety let's call Tenant 1 Bob, and Tenant 2 Gary

And so it begins....

"At approximately 4:15PM today, August 3, 1998 Bob(tenant 1) came into the office. I thought he was here to pay rent (which he did) but he also wanted to talk to me about Gary(tenant 2, his neighbor). Bob stated that he has had problems with Gary for a couple of years but the problems have taken on a more aggressive attitude.

According to Bob the problem started a couple of yers ago when Gary came to his apartment and said something was wrong with Bobs cat. Something wrong with it's eye. While they were talking Gary asked him if he could bum a smoke and Bob said "sure" and then asked if Gary would like to come in and sit down. Gary did. After a while Gary began telling him that he had just watched some porno flicks and began masterbating while sitting in Bob's apartment. Gary then supposedly asked if Bob would like to do something. Bob said that he told Gary, "no, I am not gay and I do not have relationships with males." According to Bob, Gary got quite upset and left his apartment . Ever since then, whenever they pass in the drive area or walkways Gary says things to him. Bob said at first he could not understand what Gary was saying but since Gary was has been released from jail he quite clearly calls Bob an "a$$$%^&" and "F$%&* you" or calls him other names which at the moment I cannot recall. Bob says that he did not say anything all this time because he understands the mentality and emotional instability of homosexual. He felt that Gary was humiliated because he mistook Bob for one of his sexual orientation. he said that he could not believe that after all that Gary had done(he specificically mentioned when Gary's friend stole all the stuff from #52 backyard) that we would allow him to move back in here. I told him that I had not had a problem with Gary since he returned from prison, that Gary, to my knowledge has been a model resident. Gary has not even complained about other residents using the one parking space that has been designated as his.

The reason I am reporting all this to you in because Bob mentioned that he was asked if he had reported this to anyone of authority in his apartment complex and he said he had not. I asked who would ask a question like that . He said he is was mulling over the idea of suing Gary for verbal battery and he feels it is worth a lot of money. He said he is now afraid of what Gary or his friends might do to him, his cat or car. he said he can not have the quiet enjoyment that is entitled to him in his own home. He also said that he has seen Gary's friends coming around. When I asked him when he said one time. He kept stressing how frightened he is.

I am not sure that I believe this report but for our own well being I decided to report it. Prior to Gary's incarceration it might have been true. I asked Bob if he had any proof and he said he had some sperm stains on his couch from Gary's that he could use as evidence. "

See, I always wondered why the previous manager decided to move all the way across the country when her entire family lived right here in town. But, after reading this, and some other interesting reports, I don't blame her for going as far away as possible.

Can't you just picture her thinking "sucker!" as she was handing over her management keys to me.


Ps-People, in general, are just weird.