Woof

Monday is my day off.

I love Mondays.

I look forward to Mondays all week long.

So when people start bugging me on my Mondays

I get T-offed.

So today as I was unloading my gazillion(which I believe is somewhere between a gallon and a million) amount of groceries bags, I spot this chick trying to use her keys to unlock the office door!?!

Honestly?!

Yes I give out keys to the office door to all tenants this way they can just come in grab some money, a master key take my computer...it's a free for all!

She was very determined to open this door by trying all the keys on her key chain.

It was almost comical.

Key word being almost.

So, because it was my day off and because frankly I like this tenant about as much as I like the bubonic plague, I just walked around to my house door to drop off my groceries.

Luckily(note sarcasm) she has my cell phone number(which again I am not sure how she got) and started calling me. Of course I hit the IGNORE button(don't you wish you could hit that button in a real like conversation?).

See I knew why she was calling me.

I had given her yet again another 3 day notice to pay rent or quit

and yet again a letter letting her know that her electricity was going to be turned off

because she yet again has failed to turn the electricity over into her name even though she has lived here three months.

....deep breath...I will not get frustrated.....I'm so pretty oh so pretty and witty and bright.....

So, I sat in my house repeatedly hitting IGNORE on my phone and unloading my groceries.

Then my husband comes home.

He tells me that the crazy lady that likes to scream is trying to unlock the office door.

Then, because apparently he hates me, he told her that he would come and get me.

So I call her.

Simply because I will listen to someone until they start yelling or cursing and I don't have the freedom to hit END when I am standing there.

Shocker of shocks she immediately starts yelling...I hang up.

We do this little game for about 5 more minutes until she calls and says

"I don't want to fight with you anymore."

Which is funny because I had only said hello throughout our entire conversations.

So, I ask her to pay her rent.

She says "FINE!"

As if I am asking her to hand over her first child.

Then I tell her to change the electricity into her name.

She tells me she calls and they put her on hold.

The nerve of California Edison, honestly!

She then tells me she is getting married.

(my condolence to her finance)

She said she is getting married THIS month and will be moving in with her husband.

When I reminded her that she signed a 1 year lease and has only been here 3 months she starts yelling and telling me and I quote

"You are a heartless dog, a heartless dog how dare you try to keep me from my husband"

So of course I replied with what any genuine smart allec of a Landlord would...

"Woof, woof"

And then I hung-up.