What is an emergency?

I recently went from a old fashioned pager to a a google voice account for my maintenance emergency number. Which means someone calls and either leaves a message which is then sent to me via text or I can answer the call. The beauty of this is when I am sitting in church and my phone goes off I can read the text to realize it's not even close to an emergency and resume with my service. As apposed to leaving the service with my cell phone and pager in hand calling back the number and getting ticked when I realized someone paged me because their garbage disposal isn't working. Emergency? I think not!

So I thought I would make a few lists of events that I would consider an emergency as well as a few examples of what is NOT.

Emergency

You wake to find your apartment if flooded. Please by all means feel free to page your landlord.

Not an Emergency

You dropped a contact lens down the sink

Emergency

There is water leaking from the ceiling, especially if the water is poo colored and coming from the bathroom above(really happened once, grossss)

Not an emergency

You decide to try install a bidet at 1:30am (when you are slightly drunk and have no idea what you are doing) and have completely destroyed the only toilet in your apartment.

I am never to nice when I am woken up because of someone else's stupidity.

Emergency

There is smoke coming out of your neighbors apartment and the fire alarm is going off...but please call the fire department first.

Not an Emergency

You dropped a butter knife on your foot during an earthquake.

Yes, I had a tenant who dropped a butter knife on her bare foot during the last earthquake we had. However she did call 9-1-1 first for them to administer the band-aid.

You know because fireman and paramedics have nothing to do after a big earthquake.

Emergency

It's 3:30am and there are three naked drunk guys using a boogie board to skim across the pool.

Not an Emergency

It's 10:30PM and you desperately need the package that UPS dropped off for you in the office.

Which I would have been more understanding if I had not given you notification that your package was delivered TWO week ago and had not called several times in between for you to get this package out of my office.

Emergency

Your apartment is on fire!

Not an Emergency

You have developped a weird rash on your butt and think there is some sort of bacteria growing on your toilet.

First, try cleaning your toilet every so often. Just a thought

Second, why would you think your landlord would want to know about your weird rashes on your butt? Especially at 11:00pm?!?!

Honestly, I could have lived my entire life without the piece of knowledge.