Maintenance Woes

>> Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The buttons on my (two year old) microwave stopped working.
I called LG, and the operator asked me to try pushing the buttons again.
As if I declared the buttons were not working without having actually pushed them.
I humored her, and pushed the buttons.
Still not working.
She asked me to push them harder.
So, I did.
Again, not working.
I don't claim to be a genius, but I have been using a microwave for about 20 years, and I am fairly proficient in pushing the buttons on the panel.
After a panful 30 minute conversation, where she asked me numerous times to punch different codes into the panel, that doesn't work, and me expelling, it doesn't work, she finally sent someone out.
He arrives, and stands in my kitchen, trying to push all the buttons on the microwave for about fifteen minutes, and then turns to me and says, "your buttons don't work."
Me: "Yes, I know. How do we fix it?"
LG Guy: "I don't know, your buttons they don't work. I think you need a new one."
Me: "It's under warranty, so do you order a new one?"
LG Guy: "I don't know. This model has been discontinued, because the control panel has glitches."
Me: "Like the buttons not working."
LG Guy: "Yes."

- - - -

It is raining outside. 
I walk into the laundry room. 
I see that it is also raining inside. 
I quickly discover that there is a crack in the walkway above the laundry room, causing the leak.
I call my maintenance man. 
Me: "There is a leak in the laundry room roof, can you please come take a look?"
MM: "Why?"
Me: "Uh, because there is a leak."
MM: "That isn't my job."
Me: "How is that not your job."
MM: " Because." 

Well, glad he clarified. 

- - - - 

The company that glazes the countertops arrives in my office to let me know they are done in a vacant unit. 
I say thanks. 
Then, as they are leaving, they casually mention that they had a small fire, but no damage. 
I walk into the vacant unit. 
I turn the corner, walk into the kitchen, and I see that yes, they had a fire. 
The entire white stove, is now black. 
All the plastic buttons are burned off. 
And the cabinets above are burnt. 
It took over six months to get them to pay for the damage. 

- - - - 

We had the pool deck redone, since the current one was peeling. 
I had to close the pool for two weeks. 
That is two weeks of listening to tenants complain about how they can't use the pool, and they should get a rent discount, despite the fact that it was mid-January, cold, and the pool is not heated. 
The day came to open the pool. 
I took down the caution tape. 
I walked onto the pool deck, and then slipped around until I ungracefully plopped myself on a nearby lounge chair. 
It was a little misty outside, and the pool deck was like a giant slip n slide. 
I bent down and touched the slippery surface. 
Again, I am not a genius, but isn't the pool deck supposed to have some sort of, you know, grainy texture? 
So, people don't die when they step out of the pool. 
I called the deck guy. 
I said, "I need you to come back out, because the pool deck is way too slipper."
Deck Guy: "No it's not."
Me: "Yes it is. I think you forgot to put the sand into the paint."
Deck Guy: "Bottom line, am I getting paid or not?"
Me: "Come back out, fix the problem, and then yes, you will get paid."

Never heard from him again. 

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