Cheap Labor....snickers immaturely.

>> Thursday, January 2, 2014

"Thank you for calling_____ Apartments."

"Hi, it's ___ in Apartment ____, can(maintenance) come take a look at my garbage disposal. It is making a weird noise when I turn it on. It also has a smoke smell."

Grabbing pen and maintenance log, "alright, I am writing this down. Is it possible for me to come take a look at it now. Just to see if it is something I can fix?"

"I doubt you could fix, but whatever."

Roughly thirty minutes later...
(had to make a bathroom stop, check both laundry rooms and was stopped by a tenant to discuss the poor parking situation and loud upstairs neighbors)

Knock on door.

Tenant(woman, early thirties/late twenties/mid-forties...I suck at age assumption) opens the door looking mildly interested.  "Hi, the disposal is over there," she points towards the sink in the kitchen, as if I was about to walk into her bedroom in search of the garbage disposal.

"Thanks." I walk across the living room into the kitchen, with my L-wrench looking thing(I also suck at tool names) in my hand. I flip the switch for the garbage disposal, and the tenant was right, it sounded like a metal screw was banging around int there, but it also smelled like plastic was burning.

I dropped to my knee and opened the cabinet below the sink and unplugged the disposal. I then pulled a latex glove out of my back pocket and wiggled my hand into it. I learned my lesson, and also, THIS happened VERY close to my complex, so, you can never be too careful.

(she shoved it in a garbage disposal) 

(can you image the apartment manager having to add that to her list of items not suitable for the garbage disposal? Potato peels, plastic and any body parts

I then reached my latex protected hand down the drain. The tenant was standings there with her arms crossed over her chest, leaning against the wall, giving me an incredulous look as if I were a small child attempting to solve the pythagoras theorem(which I totally can....not solve, alright, maybe I could, if I didn't drop any math class that made me think too hard in college.) 

Now, after feeling around for a moment, I pulled out a quarter. I set it on the counter, and reach back in. Next came a dime followed by a penny. I plugged the disposal back in and turned it back on, expecting to have solved the problem. 

Nope, still weird burning smell. 

I reached back in, and it was hard to tell for sure, because of my glove, but I thought there might be something plastic like in there. After awhile, I was able to get a portion of the plastic item unclogged. I pulled it out, holding it between my thumb and forefinger, with a head tilt and furrowed brow, I examined the item in my hand until realization came upon me. 

I set the item next to the coins and took an assessment of what we had here. 

We had .36 cents and part of a used condom. 

I looked up at the woman, whose mouth was twisted and face resembled Elmo's. 

Not sure what exactly happened, didn't ask, didn't want to know. But, if my assumption is correct, and assuming she is subpar at her...endeavors...I think she could charge more. But, I was the apartment manager not a business advisor. 

And, I was the manager having to remind tenants NOT to put contraceptives in the garbage disposal and common area walkways and the pool and the laundry rooms and down the toilet. Honestly, why is the trashcan NOT the most obvious course of disposal. 


Anonymous January 2, 2014 at 10:50 AM  

ROFLMAO, best one yet.

Anonymous January 2, 2014 at 11:43 AM  

I had a tenant shove cocain down the garbage disposal. Idiot.

Anonymous January 2, 2014 at 11:47 AM  

I had a tenant flush vibrators down the toilet. Why?
Why put a condom down the sink? People are interesting.

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Anonymous January 6, 2014 at 3:06 PM  

A garbage disposal is apartment management 101.

Anonymous January 7, 2014 at 3:50 PM  

That story about the woman and the garbage disposal is terrible.

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