I am back!

>> Thursday, February 3, 2011

I have been busy repopulating the earth.
Because if there is one thing this world needs more of it's people.
While on my break I have been keeping a journal of stories to tell.
And now that my hormones have calmed down a bit I can actually articulate these stories without using profanity.
Because profanity doesn't get anyone to pay the rent.
Most of the time.

So I have a tenant who is...weird.
And I am putting it nicely.
He doesn't cause trouble.
He pays his rent.
He is generally quiet.
But just weird.

So I get a call on my emergency line.
If you recall the only time using the emergency line is okay is if there is Fire, Flood or Blood
(and in the blood case please call 9-1-1 first...well actually now that I think about don't call me at all)
Okay so let's just say it's okay to call in the case of Fire and Flood.
When he called he said that there was a HUGE flood in his apartment.
He stated that water was flowing down from the apartment above and soaking his kitchen.
If I went by his description you would think he needed to start constructing an arc for goodness sakes.
I have done this job long enough.
So instead of running out the door I simply called my Maintenance Man to go see.
My Maintenance Man informs me that there is a little dribble coming from upstairs.
Turns out a water pipe for the dishwasher broke and it was repaired and we went about our day.
Late that night the tenant comes in and explains he would like to be compensated for his items that were ruined during this "flood"
When I inquired as to what was damaged he explained and I quote
"A box of cereal and a box of PopTarts for my kids"
I love that he threw in "for my kids" as if his kids will go hungry if they don't have their PopTarts or cereal.
I should also add that he has his kids two days a month.
I should also add that the box of cereal was already half gone and there was only one package of PopTarts left.

I just had to leave him for a moment and go inside my apartment and laugh.
Luckily my husband was home so we could laugh together.
My husband suggested we give him a bag of our Joe-O's cereal to compensate for his loss.

What got me was how incredibly serious he was about this.
So I asked what he had in mind.
He said $15.
Talk about inflation.
PopTarts and generic corn flakes have really gone up.
I explained he could get the depreciated value of his loss.
So I offered him $1
I would have gone up to $2
But he took it.


GunDiva February 3, 2011 at 8:53 PM  

Welcome back!

He's not so good at negotiating is he? Glad you got off cheap :)

The Story of us February 3, 2011 at 9:03 PM  

I'm so glad you are back! I have really missed your stories:-)

Courtney February 4, 2011 at 1:05 PM  

You should have told him he'd have to file a claim with his renter's insurance first. Ahahaha!

Double Duty Mommy March 26, 2011 at 5:59 PM  

I just came across your blog via April Showers. I read this post and literally was laughing out loud.

Love it.

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