Once upon a hormonal night...

I appreciate the emails of concern
I even appreciate the emails telling me to get my butt(or various forms of the word) in gear.
I am growing multiple babies in my belly and we recently had a few sickness and deaths in the family so unfortunately something had to give.
I personally wanted it to be laundry, dishes and my job.
Then I would have been the best blogger ever.
But apparently I was the only one who felt this was a good idea.
My husbands priorities are so backwards sometimes.
But it seems that for the time being life has calmed down a bit and I can resume my blogging duties.
(note to all family and friends please stay healthy and alive for at least the remainder of the year I don't think I can take much more, plus I am running out of vacation time)

But just because I was forced to work as well as do various other mundane chores around the house while grieving, growing babies and helping the sick I still jotted down several stories to share.

So here is something that happened the other night.

Evey morning I get a report form the drive by "security guards"(and I always use that term loosely).
I knew something was up because the report was 2 pages long with a lot of highlights.
As it turns out the night before someone had come and broken all the sprinklers in the front.
Then they broke into my personal garage which the security guard closed for me.
Then they "broke" into a tenants car(and I say "broke" because the tenant had their windows down and their car unlocked).
After reading the report I started doing clean up to see what other damage besides the sprinklers was done.
After examining my garage I noted that a big bag of old maternity clothes I didn't want and was donating to Good Will was missing. Not a big deal saved me a trip actually.
I went and talked to the tenant who left their car open and windows down and she said the only thing missing was her breast pump.
Even though her expensive sunglasses, wallet(um...hello?!) and ipod was in the car.

So putting it all together
Broken sprinklers + missing maternity clothes + missing breast pump....the answer seemed incredibly obvious to me!

There was a crazy newly lactating women on the lose!
If you ever lactated then you would know it can make you a little crazy.

In my mind I pictured this women, probably in her early thirties running through the sprinklers due to a recently brought on hot flash from her crazy non-involved baby daddy. Yet as she was just starting to cool down the sprinklers when off causing her to go into a fit of rage thus breaking each sprinkler head. Once done she was soaked, and not being able to fit into her normal clothes yet she went in search for something to wear thus stumbling across my maternity clothes. Then once she was cooled down and dressed she realized she needed to pump and she needed to pump fast thus taking the breast pump.
My story seemed to logical.
The police didn't think so.
But they were guys so I didn't expect them to understand.
But as it turns out they recovered all missing items from a 12 year olds apartment in the building next door.


I don't think I want to know what a 12 year old was doing with a breast pump.