Showing Apartments with Children should probably not be allowed

For those that don't personally know me(seriously missing out), I have two children.

Two small children.

3 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old.

Fun times.

I thought I would take a little break talking about the never ending circus of crazies that cross my path, and tell you what it is like showing apartments with small children.

Because that in of its self is somewhat of a circus.

Story one.

On one occasion I had my daughter with me and we were showing a very sweet elderly woman a studio apartment. As soon as we walked in I noticed it smelled a little musty but I left the door open to try and air it out, but of course my daughter blurts out "It's really stinky in here momma, oh it really stinks" and proceeds to say so in 3 second increments the entire time.

Story two...

I am standing in the kitchen of a one bedroom with two gentlemen when my son comes and stands right in front of us. He squats down and starts pushing with all his might, grunting while his little eyes are starting to turn red and then BAM! a smell that could only be described as a skunk soaked in fish, rolled in poo while eating garlic filled the "spacious" room.

Another one....

I had both kids in tow when I opened the door to a studio that was in the processes of being turned over. I knew the walls were a little tacky so I told the kids to stay at the door. Well, my daughter found a paint stick and grabbed it and got PRIMER all over her hands, arms, clothes, brother and myself. Under normal circumstances that would require

"I told you not to touch anything!" lecture and a timeout.

But I could not very well do that in front of a perspective tenant, so I kept my cool and made my daughter walk with her hands out not touching anything all the while showing yet another apartment, giving them applications and talking for a good 30 minutes about our move-in special.

My daughter stood next to me with her arms out the entire time.

Once they left I called my maintenance man asking how to get primer off. He suggested nail polish remover. So I busted out my remover and got to work. About 5 minutes into our scrubbing session my maintenance man called back to inform me to make sure the polish had very little acetone in it.

I picked up my bottle 100% acetone.

Ooops.

Last one...

I need to tell you that at my house I have an immense amount of throw pillows. My family takes the term "throw" very seriously. Every night when my husband gets home we have pillow fights. The kids love it. When you hit someone with a pillow you say "BAM!"

Now I tell you that so I can tell you this...

I had a young college guy come in looking for a studio. As we are walking the property my daughter says...

"You wanna BAM my momma?"

"My daddy BAM my momma all the time."

He then signed a one year lease.

As a matter of fact all the above perspective tenants wound up signing a lease.