Parenting 101

I hate tagging/graffiti.

I mean I HATE it.

I don't understand how taking a sharpie and scribbling three letters on the side of a washing machine serves any purpose.

My previous maintenance man used to take a paint brush and paint over the graffiti outlining each letter, basically tracing the graffiti in a different color....sigh...don't even get me started.

Anyways, for a few months we were getting the same letters "STP" scribbled all over the complex.

At first it was just occasionally, and then quickly became an all out "STP" attack as the three stupid letters were found daily on everything from the washing machine to the dumpsters.

It didn't take a genius to realize it was someone who lived here.

Now it doesn't happen too often but when I actually put my mind to something I can get it done and I get it done right and I get it done fast.

(absolutely no hidden innuendo to that statement)

So I launched an all outright CSI investigation.

I was determined to nab the "STP" artist and give them the boot.

I started by trying to narrow down who I thought it could be.

Hmmmm....

I decided that it just might be one of my teen residents.

I know a far fetched theory.

For some reason I couldn't really see them sneaking out at night and tagging up the complex.

So because of my teen theory I was able to narrow it down to three apartments. Which isn't bad considering how many apartments I have here.

I was planning on starting my questioning/bribing for information when right in the midst of my investigation I saw one of the three suspects discarding some unwanted furniture next to the dumpster and on that unwanted furniture there it was.... "STP" tagged all over it.

BINGO!

Told you I am good.

It only took me three hours to catch the little artist himself.

I grabbed a 3 day notice and handed it to my husband

(I always make him do the dirty work)

(again no hidden innuendo)

and had him deliver it to the taggers apartment.

I then sat in my office and waited for the backlash.

About 20 minutes later the kid(16yrs) came into the office.

He was with three of his scary looking friends.

(I only peed my pants a little)

He was genuinely perplexed as to why he got the notice.

I told him that graffitting was grounds for eviction.

His defense you ask?

"I haven't tagged in a few days though"

Really?

Good to know he is an artist and a genius.

He left my office after a few choice words and a middle finger.

His father then comes in.

He proceedes to tell me...

"My son is a good kid, he really is. He just has ADD and that is why he has to tag. I tell him to go across the street to do it but sometimes he doesn't listen."

(slaps head in disbelief)

HONESTLY!?!

SERIOUSLY?!

Was I the only person here born with a functional brain?

My disclaimer:

I understand that ADD is a honest to goodness problem that many face.

I do not believe however that it is a good excuse for breaking the law.

The truth is that I actually do have ADD.

Promise.

Not a joke.

Just ask anyone that has spent more than twenty seconds with me.

So if you ever invite me over to your house and I randomly start drawing all over your walls you can't get mad.