Smile you are on candid camera

We have a lot of vacancies. Every time I rent an apartment, someone else moves out. It's very frustrating. I just want a full apartment complex so that I can just collect rent, boss around maintenance people and watch Oprah.

Is that to much to ask??

Honestly.

Because of this vacancy business I actually have to work more(loud sigh)

So I have been showing a lot of apartments lately and I always find it funny the random/strange/creepy/funny questions that I get.

Here are a few I received lately and I promise, cross my heart that these are true.

"What is this for?"

"It's the living room"

"But what is it for?"

"To put your furniture in."

"Oh, then what is this for?"

"It's a closet"

"But what is it for?"

"To put stuff in"

...and it goes on and on...

side note: please feel free to feel sorry for me because this person actually qualified and signed a one year lease....it's going to be a long year.

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I was showing a couple a one bedroom and I happen to have my little son with me resting on my hip when the man points to him and says

"Is that yours?"

Who, this kid that keeps calling me Momma? Oh no I actually just cleaned out my closet and found him. Crazy huh. I was going to throw him in the DI pile but decided to try him on.

DUH!

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A man comes in and he has a strange odor, a pretty obvious comb over and is wearing alarmingly short shorts made from sweatpants material (I am not sure of what they are called, I personally don't own a pair, nor should anyone for that matter) and a blue shirt tucked tightly into his shorts. He goes down a list of questions about our studio apartment ranging from when the building was built, how many times the apartment has been painted, is the owner a man or a woman and so on and so forth. You know the normal questions you ask when looking at an apartment.

So I show him the apartment and decide to stand in the doorway while he looks just to error on the side of caution since I couldn't decide if this man was dangerous or just really weird. After I show him the apartment we go back to the lobby were he takes a seat at the couch and asks me to sit across from him.

I sit down (noting all the possible exits) and the man explains that he actually lives in Arizona but would like to use our address and a apartment number to receive mail because he is looking for a job here.

Oh okay, yes, that makes perfect sense.

The annoying part is it took me almost 45 minutes to try and convince him it would be much easier to actually live in the same state you work in.

But preferably in a different complex, like on the other side of town.

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~"Is this building made from wood?"

No it's made from straw so try not to sneeze