Why I Smell Mayonnaise

Showed a man a two-bedroom apartment.
He asked for an application but first wanted give me the story as to why his credit wasn't going to be great.

So, once upon a time, he ate bad mayonnaise from a food truck.
He said he knew it was the mayonnaise that made him sick because it smelled weird and was a yellowish hue.
Not that it stopped him from eating it.
The smelly yellow mayonnaise made him sick.
(ya think?)
He didn't think I was grasping the severity of the bad mayonnaise situation.
(because I wasn't)
So he lifted up his shirt and showed me his colostomy bag.
(point proven)

Ran his credit and, as promised, it wasn't great.
But it wasn't terrible either.
Approved with higher deposit.
But mayonnaise has forever been ruined for me.