I Can't Pay My Rent This Month

"...because a gypse stole all my money." 

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Another month another excuse

"I am sorry but I am going to be late this month I had an emergency come up"

"Is everything okay?"

"No! When I was at work yesterday my dogs totally broke my bathroom door and got into all my make-up and I had to take them to an emergency Vet and one had to have surgery and the other might have to as well. Luckily they are going to be okay."

"Oh gosh I am so sorry but you realize we don't allow dogs here and was there much damage done to the door?"

"I can not believe that you are concerned about your stupid door or your stupid rules when my dogs are dying!"

"Well, it is my job to make sure everyone is following the rules and this is a no dog property."

(my defense she said they were going to be okay)

"Well my dogs are staying"

"I am sorry, but no they are not"

"Well then I guess I have to move."

"That is fine but you will have to pay your lease break fee"

"No I wont"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because you are kicking me out!"

"No, I am saying you can not have dogs which is exactly what it says on your lease that you signed four months ago."

"But my puppies are a part of me they go I go"

"That is fine but you will have to pay the lease breaking fee."

"You can talk to my lawyer then."

"That is fine go ahead and give him my number but in the mean time when will you be paying your rent?"

"F....You"

Tenant turns around grabs her purse and storms out of the office catching her purse on the doorknob spilling all content over the ground....see God does love me.

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The Screamer

I have a tenant who decided not to pay rent this month. I served her a 3day notice to pay rent or quit and tried calling on several occasions. Finally she gets back to me and her excuse for not paying rent is...
"I was busy"

Seriously?!?

Honestly?!?
Like that is a good excuse.

So I tell her to pay her rent that day. Apparently she got to busy and forgot to pay that day or the next. Which now leaves us on the 9th of the month.
I left her another message explaining that I was going to have to send her file over to the lawyer if she does not come in and pay. ALSO, she needed to come in to pay her electric bill that for some reason she decided to cancel and have changed back over to the landlords name. Again when questioned about this she said she was

"To busy to take care of the electric bill so she felt that we should pay it"

Which, again makes perfect sense

(rolls eyes)

Why shouldn't everyone else pay your bills. No one else is busy.

Anyways, she calls me yelling at the top of her lungs so loudly that I can not understand her. I do what I always do when someone is yelling...hang up!

She then called and I picked up and she yelled so I hung up and we proceeded to do this for the next 30 minutes or so when I finally decide to not pick up the phone at all.

Then all of a sudden my cell phone rings! How in the heck she got my cell phone number is beyond me. I picked up and she yelled and I hung up.

Long/annoying/frustrating/infuriating story short

She comes in and pays her rent. Making sure to tell me that I was treating her like a dog!?!

I am not sure how asking someone to pay rent on the apartment that they are renting is treating someone like a dog? But if that is the case I am crossing a dog off my Christmas list because I do enough of that already!

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Evict Me Please

About a year ago a tenant, whom was a very nice guy, came in and asked me if he could ask me for a favor...which I always find funny when people ask if they can ask for a favor instead of asking if you can ask, why don't you just ask and save yourself the extra question...sigh...oh sorry I digress.

Anyways, this tenant comes in and asks me if I would please evict him.
What?!?!
He then explained that money was tight and he needed to dip into his 401K in order to make rent. I guess the fastest way to get the money without having to wait a certain amount of days is if it's an emergency, and being evicted is an emergency.

I guess I was a little perplexed by the situation. Here I had a great tenant who had lived here for almost 20 years asking me to evict him. Hmmm. I explained that in order for me to evict him I would have to wait for him to be at least 3 days past his rent and then I would have to pay our lawyer to file an eviction against him. All the while he would be accruing late fees and lawyer fees.

I asked him if he could at least pay partial rent that day and pay the rest in payments through out the month. I would rather deal with late payments then to have a vacancy and the costs of turning over a 20 year old apartment. He told me that he could pay me a partial payment and give me the rest around the 15 of the month. Which sounded a lot more...oh I don't know...whats the word...smart, yes that 's the word. It sounded a lot more smart than to go through an eviction process.

The next day he wrote me a check for the rent minus $200 dollars. Really?? You wanted to be evicted to dip into your 401K for $200 bucks?!?
The best part is that three weeks later UPS dropped off a big box for them that said XBox 360 on it.

Seriously?!

Am I the only person who believes that paying for the roof over your head is more important than games/purses/cars/presents??? Honestly? What is the point of having a Xbox if you have no place to plug it into??

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Reasons For Not Paying Rent

Tenant: "I tried to pay rent but you were closed"

Me: "Why didn't you drop it in the 24 hour slot?"

Tenant: "I didn't know there was a 24 hour slot"

Me: "That is where you dropped your rent last month"

"I am not going to pay rent because the gym was closed for a whole week this month."

"I had to buy presents for Christmas, I couldn't not get my kids presents."

"Here is the rent check but can you not deposit it until the 20th?"

"I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail so I am going to be late this month."

Tenant: "If I don't pay rent this month what is going to happen?"

Me: "You will get evicted"

Tenant: "Really, why? That's ridiculous"

Tenant walks in puts down their new iPhone, keys to their BMW and their LV bag and tells me they can not pay rent this month, because they had other bills that were way more important.

Isn't having a place to live considered high on the bill list, or is that just me?

"You didn't get my rent? What! I mailed it to you! The post office must have lost it"

"Why would you mail me the check when you live next door?"

"Um...you were closed"

I love how tenants conveientaly forget about the 24 hour drop box only on certain months

I can’t pay my rent because….

"The Heat chocked and lost the &*%$*& series."

"My grandma is visiting, and I want to take her out to a nice dinner."

"The gardeners start mowing the %$#&@ lawn before noon every $%&#$-in week, and I should have peace and quiet until a reasonable hour." 

"I don't have washer and dryer hook-ups in my apartment, and I hear the complex across the street does."

"I think my apartment is haunted."

"Because a gypsy stole all my money." 

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